Birmingham’s Future Culture?

Birmingham’s Future Culture?

I went to a business meeting about a week and a half ago and ever since have been extremely unsettled and find my mind thinking about one topic in particular.
The meetings purpose was to brainstorm and discuss Birmingham and its ability to grow and expand its industries and business opportunities.
I didn’t really know how to share these thoughts I have so I am writing this mainly to just get it off my chest and if you read it, then that’s great!
The reason I decided to finally write this is because I just got done watching Woodlawn for the first time(I know it’s way past due)!
The whole racism, segregation, slavery(at any time of this world) has always made me very mad, sad, and extremely disappointed.
It is very hard for me to choose to watch movies I know go along that storyline.

So this leads me into the meeting topic. The other attendees brought up the point that they feel Alabama’s culture holds us back from growing because we remain too conservative on many fronts.
I sat there and listened to this discussion and wanted to portray my thoughts and point of view on this but decided not to for 2 reasons:
1) It was a male dominant room that were way more experienced in the business world than I am, so I felt intimidated. (Clearly fear and insecurity ruled this decision)
2) Because it was a business meeting not a religion nor political meeting(which also bothers me that I feel that faith can’t be intermingled in business) I do business to make a difference and the only one that matters is my life pointing to Christ.

So they mentioned two points in particular about the tendencies of racism and sexual preferences.
I am a Christian and believe that everyone is created equal and is loved by God not because of what they look like but because they are His children and unique. I also believe that marriage is one woman and one man.

With that said, we are taught to love everyone because He loves them. I love how Church of the Highlands says that we are all sick, just some of us are a little further in treatment.

Alabama is probably one of the last if not the last state to hold tight to truth and lead by Gods word. The Church as a whole has failed in showing others what God and his love and forgiveness is about(I am just as guilty).
But, Alabama has a great history of many differences, changes, and growth. A lot has happened here; good, bad great, and horrific! But through His love we have found our way to embrace our differences. We still have a LONG way to go.

So my point I wanted to make was that why should we change our culture that has managed to remain close to God and truth, just so business can grow?

Why can’t we show people how great this city is because we remain steadfast and passionate without accepting all the filth the world has made “normal”?

Why don’t we show people that they matter, they have something to offer here no matter their personal life decisions or appearances?

Why wouldn’t we want God and truth to lead our culture and be so contagious that people crave it for the right reasons whether they realize why yet or not?

Have we really gotten so success and business oriented that we would shove what makes us strong to the side so that we can be classified as “successful” like the other big cities in our nation?

The truth is yes, we remain conservative for good reason! Why do you think that the presidential election turned out the way it did? Because people are sick of the lies, destruction, and division! We thrive on hope and unity!

Yes we believe according to the truth of Gods word because that is our only hope to believe in because let’s just face the fact that humans fail. God always remains the same. We crave things we can count on!

Yes we do not applaud sin nor will we encourage it but we will embrace you into this culture and love you anyway. We are nowhere near perfect and I will never claim to get it right. It is not our place to judge. We are hear to love and lead by example that points to Christ. Each person must decide for themselves.

I would rather Birmingham and Alabama as a whole remain small and convicted than big and lost!

We are the land of the free! If we fall, we fail the world as a whole.
It is only because of this conviction that America remains a beacon of light.

Man, that is a load off! Writing thoughts down truly helps relieve pressure and also helped me gather my own thoughts and feelings.

I know that opinions will vary on this topic. As our culture continues to shift and what is considered “normal”, I have to maintain and stick to Gods word as my map to navigate through, be able to hold fast to truth, and not surrender my morals or passion just to make it in this world.

I hope my fellow Alabamans feel proud of who we are but always seeking to grow and be better!

With Love
Jessica

Why Did We Choose to Homeschool?

Hi Mom,

So my oldest son Cameron is now old enough to start school this fall. I have known this was coming and still find myself in shock. We decided in the beginning that we would homeschool our kids. So for the past year, I have been slowly learning and deciding which direction I want to go as far as teaching style.

In the midst of all the decisions that need to be made, I have battled the thought of “Can I handle this?”, “What if I fail them and they never learn anything?”, “It would be easier to just put him in school and take the pressure and responsibility off.”

And so on…

How many of you have thoughts like this just about everyday on any aspect of parenting? ✋🏼 ME!

Truth is, these feelings will never go away! I could get all walking on clouds, everything is so perfect and will always work out on you but the point of this blog is to be honest right? So the truth is….our feelings are a curse and a blessing!

They are a curse because no one can ever understand how extremely hard and pressurized being a mom is and what we put ourselves through emotionally, physically and mentally!

They are a blessing because no one will ever put as much love, energy, and dedication into our children like we will! When they live with us, we worry about having to make them do what we say. When they become adults, we have to worry because we no longer can make them do anything.

So back to homeschooling….I went to a Homeschool Workshop and came out feeling a little more confused but also more empowered and excited! The biggest thing I learned was to know my why.

I have always known my why of wanting to be there and teach them, to see them grow and discover, to have the freedom to travel and take them to the physical places and not be tied down to the school schedule. Lastly, if I have learned anything about my kids over the past 6 years, it’s that they are very different in many ways and how they learn is definitely one of them!

Cameron loves learning and can sit and do book work, Conrad however needs to use his hands and be free to physically explore and move. I want them to embrace their differences and be able to learn how they are created to while being able to learn how to adapt in different environments.

All kids learn differently. It doesn’t mean they are weird or abnormal, they are unique.

I know the views on homeschooling can have variety of opinions. There is nothing wrong with having kids in a school atmosphere whether it is public or private. Learning is a gift no matter how we achieve it.

I have the capability, time, and desire. What I do want to express to you all is to be confident in what you know YOU want to do for your kids. There will always be many different opinions on what is “right”. I have already gotten multiple opinions on homeschooling but the opinions don’t bother me because I know my why!

Will it be easy? Am I still nervous? Do I still feel pressure? Do I know what I am doing?

I still have no idea what it will be like or how it will go! I also have no idea how my parenting will turn out but that doesn’t keep me from getting up and being a mom every day! So I will do the same thing as a teacher that I do as a mom…take it one day at a time, do the best I can, and always be learning as I go.

If you have ever considered homeschooling, and for whatever reason didn’t think you could handle it or do it well, you can! I have went back and forth so many times myself. I never thought I would be able to handle another baby but that wasn’t going to stop them being born in 9 months. So guess what? I just figured it out, did it, and my kids are still alive and so am I!

Things are beginning to come together and I am feeling much more excited to get started!

And as with anything in life, we are stronger together! Whether in public school or homeschooling, find a group of people to walk the journey with and keep each other strong through the challenges because either path will have them.

My mom always tells me to weigh out the pros and cons of anything that I am unsure about. So my advice…

1) Weigh Pros & Cons

2) Know the Why

3) Find people you can walk the journey with to keep each other strong and encouraged.

Will there be days when I wonder what the heck I was thinking? Absolutely! How do I know I will make it through those days? Because I know my why is stronger than my why not.

Believe me when I say that I have bad days just like anyone. In fact, I was doubting myself and my capabilities on a few things just before sitting down to write this. I still don’t know how I feel about them but I know I will bounce back and find a way.

Truth is, we are always stronger than we think we are! We are just always on the battlefield, in the fight, and sometimes can’t see past the chaos and quick decisions. Sometimes we need the help of someone looking from the outside to help us see our true potential.

A Mom Whom Understands,

Jessica

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shall We Compromise?

I am currently reading a wonderful book by Charlotte Gambill called Turnaround God. 

I think we all fall short on our zeal for God in at least one area of our lives. An area we compromise. Will we ever master every area where we don’t compromise in some way whether big or small? Probably not. But it’s the desire to want to have more zeal that will get us closer.

In a brood view, America is a huge case of compromise. Because culture shifts and more and more things are accepted, we compromise our beliefs because we either don’t think we can make a difference or because we don’t want to hurt feelings.

In a smaller scale, what things in our own daily lives do we compromise so we don’t make waves for ourselves or others?

And how many do we know we compromise and want to stop but hate the thought of letting it go because it’s a habit?

“Are we willing to risk being misunderstood so we can make a stand? Where has our silence given ground to compromise?” -Charlotte Gambill

Zeal for your house will consume me- John 2:17

Passion is what leads us to not compromise, because passion doesn’t allow us to give up.

So is the problem that we have lost our passion?

“Consumers will never change the world, but those who are consumed are a force to be reckoned with.” – Charlotte Gambill

With Love,

Jessica

 

 

The Mothership

Motherhood…

On days like today, being a mother isn’t always easy. I have been sick with a sore, swollen throat, terrible headache, and fever…but my job as a mother doesn’t end. When I just want to lay in bed with my pillow, a Mocha Frappe, and watch movies, my kids still have needs.

All of us mothers would like to say that we are perfect because that’s what we want to be for our kids. We would like to say that we never get impatient, upset, angry, tired, or hurt. We would like to be able to say that we never question how good of a mother we are.

We wish we still had the energy that our kids have so when they ask us to sit on the ground and play cars or throw a ball, we can, from the heart, truly look forward to it and not think how sore our knees, feet, or bottom is! Haha When I see my kids crawling on there hands and knees all around the house and loving it, I just think how much I wish I could do it with the same enthusiasm.

I mean I am only 21 years old and I am lacking in energy! I will admit that. I have 3 kids 3 years and younger. So to say my energy is well used may be an understatement.

Do I get on the floor and play with my kids? Absolutely, because they need to know that what they love is important!

Is it always easy and do I do it every time? No.

Being a mother is a lot of things. Some days are hard, some are easy. Some days we may want to leave for a few days by ourselves and be alone and only have to do or get things for OURSELVES. What’s funny is when we do get away, all we think about is our kids and how much we miss them, especially when we see other kids!

As my mom always told me growing up, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

Yes, being a mother is being selfless and serving our children even when we don’t feel like it.

I write this because as mothers we don’t want to admit that we are tired and want a break, we don’t want to say out loud some of the things we think because we fear it makes us a bad mom, when to me, it just means we are human.

I think that saying some of our feelings out loud help us to feel free, less afraid of what others think and allows us to be real with ourselves and our kids as they get older. Whether you speak it to your husband, God, best friend, or maybe your own mother who felt some of the same things, DO IT!

As mothers, our job never ends. It is a 24/7 job. Even when they are sleeping, they could wake up at any moment.

Some days, what we look forward to is their nap time.

My kids are my favorite people in the world, they are my joy! They bring laughter, love, and fun!

Being a mother is not meant to be easy. It is not for the faint hearted.

For you mothers-to-be, don’t be scared!

Children are a blessing. They challenge us to be better! I look back through pictures and see that most of our special memories and fun days was with our children.

I think as mothers, we do need a break from time to time to rejuvenate our batteries and come back stronger, even if it is just a few hours to go for a walk, get a coffee and read, go shopping, get our nails done, or whatever it is that caters to you and when you even just think about it, it makes you relax.

Have you ever seen an alien movie or Star Wars? Then you know that the huge ship that all the little ones come out of is referred to as the Mothership. You ever wonder why they chose that name? Us mothers are the ones who lead the way. We are the ones who love, nurture, discipline, teach, learn, play, kiss booboos, cry, and lead. (I am not excluding fathers in any of these, they have their part too) We are the ones they come too even though Dad is standing right there! We are the ones that hold everything we need for battle. If the Mothership is taken down, then the family is easier to take down. We hold everyone together because we are emotionally based.

I was listening to a CD the other day where a mother of 5 was talking about how us mothers just need to adopt the word S.L.O.W into our lives. Our lives would be a lot less stressful and enjoyable if we could every now and then not feel like we have to conquer everything before we can stop and enjoy life.

S-Serve Them: Don’t Spoil them. Serve them in a way that shows them they are special. Serve them by teaching them and including them. When they want to help do the dishes or fold the laundry, let them. Yes, it is not always helping but take the time to teach them. Enjoy their desire to help while they enjoy it!

L-Love Them: Show them love by speaking their Love language(The 5 Love Languages). Love them by spending time with them even when it isn’t always convenient for you. Trust me…those times will happen. Greatest gift you can give them is to show them they are more important than your phone, TV show, dishes, laundry, just to name a few of the so many things we mothers do. The biggest thing us mothers hear, “Mom, watch me!” WATCH THEM!

O-Observe Them: Observe the things they do, the things they like, things they don’t like. Know your children uniquely.

W-Walk With Them: Take the time to walk with them as they grow. Spend time together as a group and individually. Let them know you are there whenever they need you. Maybe even take an actual walk with them.

If you are like me, you like your house to be in order and clean, which is a dream when you have kids right? For us organized, clean, spotless mothers…we need to be able to let our kids play freely and be imaginative and creative and then allow them to learn how to clean up after themselves and make it fun so that everyone is happy.

For the rest of you who don’t need everything in its place, you and your kids will have less to fight over! Haha For y’all, I read a book that said kids having freedom to play and express themselves is great but that cleaning up after themselves and starting fresh each day helps them to play better and learn responsibility. Plus, we all know how stressful it can be when you can’t find stuff. When things have a place and they start there each day, saves everyone time to have to go hunt that stuff down because they want it then and there.

I am amazed where my kids manage to leave their toys…it is usually the last place I think to look. They have a gift! I don’t know if they like seeing how long it will take us to find it or it just managed to land there.

Like our husbands, we have a job that has its up and down days. We all need breaks and it is ok to take time for us and to express our feelings. Women are experts at being emotional but also great at keeping it bottled up because we don’t want to look weak or maybe feel that saying it won’t matter or change things.

As moms, we will go through more emotions I could list, but thankfully, we have God to keep us strong and teach us how to handle each and every one.

We are special and irreplaceable. Keep focused on the good days and the bad days won’t seem as hard.

We sometimes wish the bad days away and wonder if they will ever get out of diapers, make their own drink, be able walk on their own, dress themselves, and out of carseats. Then find ourselves balling our eyes out looking at their pictures when they were so small, needed our help, and wonder where the time has gone and wishing to see them small again. That’s why we must stay focused on each day and not wish it away but know that “this too shall pass”(another statement my mom always says to me). That is probably why God gave us the verse to not worry about tomorrow but focus on today.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. -Matthew 6:34

Our children remind us there are more important things in life. Stuff will wither away but people and the time we spend together will remain with us forever.

Now, if you would excuse me, my kids are asking me for a drink and my attention. 😉

With Love

Jessica

Orphanism or Belonging?

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear orphan?

Probably a child or children without parents right?

Me too!

This past Sunday during service I got thinking about the difference between being an orphan and having an orphanistic mentality. Being an orphan is out of our control but having an orphanistic mentality is not.

Let me explain…when I think of the word orphan, I think of someone being WITHOUT something.

Our church just got done finishing 21 Days of Prayer on Sunday and I was thinking of people using that time to present their worries, desires, needs, and struggles with others and God wanting to receive answers and freedom.

Marriages fail from feeling like an orphan of love and/or respect.

Friendships end from feeling like an orphan of honesty and trust.

Financial struggle comes from feeling like an orphan of having enough stuff.

Etc.

Having an orphanistic mentality is a decision and usually due to the fact that we look for these things in the wrong places.

Although some may be orphans in the physical, no one is an orphan in the spiritual, emotional, or mental unless they so choose.

From my experience in my short 21 years, I am loved and respected in my marriage because I choose to find my love and respect first in Christ. From there, I now have the power and ability to take that love and respect and transfer it to TJ which allows him the ability to give it in return.

My friendships can remain strong because I learn how to be honest and trustworthy from Jesus’ example.

Our finances remain strong and blessed because I am grateful and content with everything God has given us.

Do not mistake me for perfect or having it all together….I have my “bad, the world is ending” days just like everyone else.

Why? Because no one is perfect and because we all have days where our focus is thrown off by all the things the enemy likes to throw our way.

With everything in life, it is always our choice to let the ball hit us or hit it back at him.

We can never be orphans if we look for our needs in the right place first and then the other areas of our lives will automatically get better.

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.       -Psalm 116:1-2

And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.     -Acts 2:21

If you want to feel valued and unique…then find it from the One who made you that way.

And when we feel loved, unique, and valued, others will treat you that way as well because we radiate confidence in ourselves.

So I encourage anyone and everyone, if you feel WITHOUT in any given area, look at who or what you look to for that need to be filled.

An orphan could look at their lack of parents and feel there is no chance for a bright or successful future because the mountain looks to vast for them to make it to the top. Or they look at that mountain and look at its vastness and all its beauty as a great, unknowing, and exciting journey that they will give their best in every step.

I love the song Touch The Sky by Hillsong. The words and the music make me feel like I can overcome anything. The lyrics speak such truth about what life can be when we put it in Gods hands.

“I found my life,

When I laid it down

Upward Falling, Spirit Soaring

I touched the sky

When my knees hit the ground

What treasure waits within your scars

This gift of freedom gold can’t buy

I bought the world and sold my heart

You traded Heaven to have me again

My heart beating, My soul breathing…”

You can choose to be the victor or the victim. It’s life or death. Blessing or cursing. Truth or lies. Fun or misery.

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.    -Romans 6:23

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live        -Deuteronomy 30:19

Let him not deceive himself by trusting what is worthless, for he will get nothing in return.    -Job 15:31

I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments.    -Colossians 2:4

It’s your choice…Orphanism or Belonging? Choose Life!

With Love,

Jessica

Sparks Flew, Sparks Fly

The day you met that special someone, the one who would be yours till “Death parts you.”

All love stories start out so different…some people know from the moment they laid eyes on each other, others are friends first, and some one person knows and just waiting for the other to catch up.

For me, I would say my love falls in the last scenario.

But what rings true in all love…sparks fly when you find that someone. Or at least it should!

As young girls…all we hear and see is these fairytale stories of the perfect romantic moments that puts the idea of what love “should” be. Although love in real life rarely, if ever, happens the way they do in books and movies, they give us the dream of wanting true love.

What is true love you might ask?

I think it is different for each person but the basics..

You can be your true self with that person.

Honesty and respect is something valued and expressed.

I believe that love is when…that person still makes your heart stop and beat faster at the same time when they grab your hand, kiss your cheek, smile, laugh, and when looking at them across the room.

Now don’t mistake me for naive to life..I have felt my fair share of “get away from me now” and “I really don’t want to look at you right now” feelings. Life is not perfect and you may not feel “in love” every moment of your life, but you will feel it every day. That is my hope for all married couples and I know it is God’s as well.

When Tj and I were dating, I felt like life would be over without him. When we were first married, I felt life was over with him…we fought so much, I had no idea where the sparks went. Haha

Over time…the fighting went away when we compromised that Tj would pick up after himself so I didn’t have a reason to be mad anymore! JK(Just Kidding)!

I think what happens too often after marriage is we lose the “I want to date you” mentality. The romance lessens, the dating stops, and we let little petty things cause arguments that just dims the love more. Life happens and sometimes we just have to ride it out and hope to make it out in the end stronger. What we have to hold onto through the trials of life is the sparks that began this journey we call love.

What changed in our marriage? We learned to fight against the problems, not each other.

We can’t lose focus of the bond we share with the person next to us, the vows we made to one another.

We have to learn to hold onto one another in the tough moments, not letting anything come between.

I can tell you just about every detail of the night Tj and I met. I will never forget the feeling when he first smiled at me.

We have been through the mud together and in the clouds together. What I cherish most is that we made our way up to the clouds by discovering a precious love through Jesus Christ.

I believe this verse states it best…

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.            -Ecclesiastes 4:12

Marriage begins with a man and a woman in love and remains because of the love they have for Christ separately and together. He is the third cord not easily broken.

Sparks remain when you run alongside one another and if one gets tired, you don’t leave them behind, you slow down and walk together till the second wind kicks in, knowing that the finish line will be much more exciting side by side, hand in hand.

If the love has dimmed…don’t lose hope! It is never to late to rekindle the sparks! When Tj and I were dating and I was waiting for him to catch up to the fact that we were meant to be together….I remember dreaming of our future and praying that God would bring us together. Although the future I imagined isn’t exactly how it happened, God did bring us together and when life tries to get in the way…I remember all our great moments together and my desire to have the exact life I have now with him. My life with Tj is much more important than the temptation to fight, hold onto pride or stubbornness.

Each couple has their own special story of how they met, the moment they felt the sparks of love, the moment they said “I Do”, and the life they have built to this day. In the tough moments, remember your special moments and the feelings you had in the young love stage.

My true belief from our experience, is that the pure and passionate love a marriage needs can only be attained through the pure and unconditional love we receive from Christ first.

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.                    -Ephesians 4:2 

They are joined fast to one another; they cling together and cannot be parted.    -Job 41:17 

“In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.    

-Ephesians 4:26-27

Remember when Sparks Flew, live to see Sparks Fly.

With Love,

Jessica

So Loved…

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.         -John 3:16

A verse we should all be familiar with from a very young age. For me, I don’t think I ever truly understood the verse with the power it holds because I learned it so long ago, it was just a nice verse that was easy to learn as a kid and the most frequently taught. I believe that it is a good verse to learn as a child because it gives us the foundation of what salvation means whether we grasp it right away or not.

But over time, does it become just a sideline verse that is nice to hear but we lose sight of the true love being explained in it?

“For God so loved the world..”  His love for the world He created was so great even with all the evil in it.

He cast Adam and Eve out of the garden because they allowed temptation to lead to disobedience. To me, they had everything they would ever need along with the presence of God but still it wasn’t enough. Contentment and satisfaction come from where we stand with the Lord outside of circumstances, not from what we possess at any moment of life.

He left Moses and the Israelites in the desert for 40 years longer than planned because they wouldn’t let go of their way and being a swinging door to swaying Gods way once and living for Him.

He flooded the earth because the evil in the world was so heartbreaking.

He destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah because of the evil and sinful ways they chose to live.

So many more things whether accounted for or not that Gods love could be turned away, but yet after all that…”God so loved the world that He gave His ONLY Son…”

Pastor Chris Hodges of Church of the Highlands gave an example from his personal experience yesterday of what this would be like for one of us to give up a child so he could bear the sins others accumulated so they would be saved. Truly powerful and something we could all relate to of how hard and how deep Gods love is for us.

The most important word that may get overlooked is “whoever”. He not only gave up His only Son, but he did it knowing he was dieing for those who would never choose Him and His free gift along with the ones who would.

Have you ever had anyone pay for your bill at a restaurant whether anonymous or someone dining with you?

What is the feeling you get?

I feel extremely thankful and sometimes still wonder why? Why did they feel they should pay for our meal that they didn’t even eat? Reasons we wonder and sometimes unsure of how we feel about a gift like this could be feelings of unworthiness or pride.

My parents and all the wonder and love that comes with them, love to do this! Even if we ask them to come eat with us and intend paying for ourselves, they step in and bless us. That is something they get joy out of so it is my place to rob them of that gift? They don’t do it out of obligation (hopefully), they do it out of love.

If you have ever payed for another persons meal, then you should know the feeling that comes from blessing someone in that way no matter how small or big. You did it hoping to show your love for them, or just brighten their day.

This is the heart of God. Should we rob Him of his joy? He did something so unbelievable for our minds to fathom to show just how deep His love goes. Some still choose to not accept it because they are left so confused as to why that they focus on the why more than the what.

Why? Because He loves you for you.

What? The gift of freedom, salvation, relationship, family, eternity, paradise, love, forgiveness, acceptance, joy, laughter and the list goes on and on…

The way Pastor Chris put it yesterday that makes me fall more in love with God is that “We are accepted where we are but loved too much to leave us there.”

The beauty of salvation and relationship with Christ is that we are unworthy to receive it but worth receiving.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.           – Ephesians 2:8-9

I do not treat the grace of God as meaningless. For if keeping the law could make us right with God, then there was no need for Christ to die.       -Galatians 2:21

If you want to receive a better picture of Gods love and grace then I encourage you to watch the link above of Pastor Chris’ sermon yesterday. So beautifully put!

My desire is to lead you to thirst for more and for God to take you on your own special journey. I share my revelations from Him so hopefully you will find your own through Him. I pray you have already received His gift but if not, I hope you now know how you can.

For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.       -Romans 10:13

Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. 2 Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. 3 For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 And when Christ, who is your[a] life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.           -Colossians 3:1-4

With Love

Jessica

Semi’s of Life

Does anyone else have a fear of semi’s(18 wheelers)? Or is it just me?

The other day I was driving on the interstate and although I had passed who knows how many, when I was passing this one semi, I noticed my fear of them. When you pass by a semi, do any of you stay as far away from them as you can by hugging the line and maybe cross over just a little while picking up speed to get past them as soon as possible? Then, once you pass them, do you feel your chest relax and take a breath like you just avoided a huge catastrophe?

Ok good! I am not alone!

Funny thing is, I have never personally been hit or even had a close call with a semi but still fear them as though I had. I have family members and friends that have been in wrecks involving a semi but other than that my fear isn’t justified by an experience. My fear is due to intimidation. Those trucks intimidate me no matter if I am in our little Chevy Malibu or Ford Expedition because they are still exceptionally bigger and possess the ability to squash us in a heartbeat.

Just because they are bigger, does that make my fear any more reasonable? No.

How many of us have fears like this one? Whether we have experienced for ourselves or know someone who has, is it right to live life in fear and cause such turmoil when we think about it or near the thing we fear?

I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side. – Psalm 3:6

Earlier that morning, while at the doctors office, I was reading Fresh Air by Chris Hodges and was reading about relationships. I was pondering how I view people and relationships. Do I fear them or embrace them? Do I have relationships but still have walls high enough to guard myself but still be able to see them and communicate? Do I want to have relationships with people or do I just have them because I feel it is a requirement of me or need them to survive this life?

So when I was passing this semi and realizing my ridiculous fear, it got me thinking about how many others treat their relationships the same way as they do semi’s? Whether we have had broken relationships ourselves or grew up seeing them, we decided to put up our own walls to protect ourselves from going through the same.

Granted that with every relationship there are two parties involved that have to choose to protect and when things get shaky, we choose in that moment to forgive or hold on to our unforgiveness and let the relationship disintegrate. The good news, you are always in control of your part in the relationship and if you have fulfilled that part of love and forgiveness, then what the other person chooses is out of your hands.

I am one of those people who knows my limits and if their are relationships in my life that are more work than enjoyment, it is easier for me to put less of an effort and let the relationship die. I do try to save it to an extent but I don’t go as far as I would for other relationships that I truly cherish and honestly, that are a little easier to maintain. Is that the right attitude for me to have? I don’t know yet. I am praying and seeking God to show me where I should draw my line for each relationship and the special circumstances in each. I believe that as long as we remain open to hear God and follow His leading with all things, whether we agree or not, then we can remain on the right path.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. – Matthew 18:21-22

There are always special circumstances where it is healthy for everyone to let some relationships go or have some separation, and others that we could say would be easier to let go but worth fighting for. How do you know the difference? God will give you a peace as you seek him about each one.

There are relationships I have had to let go because we went down completely different paths and our lives didn’t mesh anymore and some I wanted to let go many times but continued fighting for with every last breath and effort because I felt my hurt and pain wasn’t enough reason to abandon them just yet.

Are relationships exhausting, painful, rocky, and risky? Absolutely!

My relationship with my husband are all those things at times but because of the devotion, love and honor we hold for each other and God is bigger than the hard days, we work through the bad days because we have so many more good days than bad. As much as semi’s intimidate me because they hold the ability to hurt me, I can never avoid them all together so with every one I get near, I have to choose to trust that they will see me and do their job to pay attention as I pass by.

Relationships are a choice to trust someone until it is broken. Will trust be broken? Most likely. Can it be rebuilt? Yes.

Although Jesus already knew Judas would betray him, He still chose to choose him as a close friend and trusted him until Judas actually betrayed him. We do not have the ability to see the future like Jesus but because we are human and we ourselves let others down, we can assume we will be let down too. But like Jesus, He still surrounded himself with many who would let him down because to walk this life alone is a lot worse than risking being let down. Why? Because you never know who will be the ones that you live life with, who will be the ones we struggle and rejoice with, who will be the ones we form such strong bonds with and know we have each other backs. Jesus had few he shared this type of relationship with but because he didn’t live in fear, he was able to find them.

The most important relationship that we have to be careful to protect and fight for daily is the one we possess with God. A lot of our relationship struggles come from the lack of connection we have with Him. We have to protect ourselves from seeing God as a semi. Because we know God is so much bigger than we could ever fathom and holds so much power, we can sometimes view Him as too hard of a relationship to carry on. We fear that because he has the ability and power to hurt us, that He will if we aren’t careful. Thats when our view of God is distorted by the imperfect humans we see everyday.

As humans, we possess the same power to hurt, let down, and leave as God does. God gave us the ability to choose to use that power for good or evil every single day. Don’t view God as something to fear of what He can do in this life, see him as the Father who loves deeply and wants us to show love in return to Him and others.

Relationships will never be a cake walk, but they are what makes this life so much more meaningful. Even though I want to strangle my husband sometimes, I can’t imagine my life without him. I don’t always see eye to eye with my parents or siblings but living life without them would be harder than living with our differences.

God made us all unique and with every person comes their weaknesses and strengths. I hate to break it to you, but none of us are any easier to deal with as others are to us. If you think that others are the ones with the problems, then I suggest you take a good look in the mirror. Sometimes we are so fearful to address our own weaknesses, we take on the attitude of blaming others for their issues. We need to always remain humble to examine ourselves. My hope and prayer is that you always use Jesus to be the mirror of what you want to see looking back.

Being in relationships with anyone is about letting the walls down and making ourselves vulnerable. Scary? Yes. But with every wall you keep, the less trust can be present. Thats when we may have people all around but hide so much from them that they don’t even have the ability to speak life and love into you because you hide what you don’t want them to see for fear it makes you weaker. That is the lie. Making yourself vulnerable, actually gives you the ability to be stronger. Will it be hard? Yes. Will it get easier? Yes.

I can not choose to avoid semi’s because they are EVERYWHERE!!!! So every time I pass by one, I overcome the fear a little more with each one by making myself vulnerable to them, hoping they will see me and not use their power to change lanes whenever they wish because whatever is in the way will move or be pushed out of the way with little interference for them. Choose the same for yourself and watch how life will change and be filled with so much joy knowing you have people on your side but most of all, God on your side who just wants to know you and love you the way you want, need, and deserve.

Nothing will ever compare to walking this life locked hand in hand with others who struggle just as much as you do and need your strengths to get them through as well.

From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. -Ephesians 4:16

Lets be on purpose to fulfill our part!

Love

Jessica

Scales of Paul

So much about Paul(Saul) has always spoken to me and inspired me. He went through so much for the sake of Christ but still held such integrity, faithfulness, and love for God and others.

Today at church, we were singing Broken Vessels by Hillsong United and it got me thinking about Paul’s life when he was more known as Saul and feared by many for his ruthlessness towards those who followed Christ. He actually believed he was doing Gods will by persecuting, arresting, and killing others because up till then he was blinded from the truth of Gods love.

Because people had gotten away from the truth of Gods word and more into their own way, they led people like Paul to believe according to their ways. I believe that because we sometimes don’t see things through the eyes of Gods love and more of the worlds ways, we get lost along the way and eventually find ourselves lost and confused.

When I came out of my confusion and lost state a few years ago, I have pondered many times why I was so blind to the truth. I believe that there is never a true answer that can be given because each persons journey is different and the reasons behind their blindness to truth. I believe the root of it is deception. What caused the deception? That is for each individual to seek for themselves. But I do believe that the only way we can be led to such deception is our view of God.

I still have not reached true understanding of God and His thought process but I am open to seek more and more each day and because of that I can truly trust Him to lead me, provide for me, and protect me. Up until Saul became Paul, His view of God was not a God of love and forgiveness but a God of condemnation and paying for our sins. Gods ultimate goal is not only to love us but be given the opportunity to let us feel that love, grace and forgiveness. If we misconstrue God as someone who sits on His throne and points His finger at us always pointing to what we are doing wrong and have to earn His love, then deception will be evident. His love was never meant to be earned but freely given.

I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you to live in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7 which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ.                                -Galatians 1:6-7

Why can we so quickly desert the things that are good and true, but continue to allow the things that hinder, injure, and confuse to hold us in bondage?

How many of us are following what the world says is the Gospel and forget to go to the source to make sure we are being led correctly?

How many of us live our lives according to lies and misconceptions?

How many of us have fallen into the trap of living according to our desires and convenience because we see Gods commands as burdensome and too hard?

How many of us hinder ourselves from truly knowing God because we surrender to the desire to BE God, instead of surrendering to our calling to KNOW God and trust He will reveal to us the knowledge we seek when we are READY to receive it?

God already loves us with arms wide open, receive it!

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. -Romans 5:8

God is our freedom from deception, lies, and condemnation!

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.   -2 Corinthians 3:17

So we come to the change of direction in Paul’s journey and beliefs when God met with him on the road to Damascus. (Acts 9:3-6) I believe that we all have the potential to have a powerful encounter with God that will shed some light on our life. Whether it is as dramatic as Paul’s encounter, who knows. But any encounter with God can be just as powerful as we open ourselves to receive. When God got a hold of Paul’s attention, Paul saw the light and from that moment was humbled to let God lead him.

I believe that the blindness he was given after that encounter symbolizes his beliefs and lifestyle up till that moment. Because he was blinded(figuratively) from truth, God may have chosen to blind(literally) him so that Paul would rest his trust in God’s guidance to the truth and to be given the ability to see God rather than distracted by the world. From that moment, Paul lived a life of passion and zeal for spreading the truth and correcting his way to Gods way. Paul is one of the few I truly learn from and respect for his choice to have joy amidst struggle and pain. His choice to be faithful in trials and his choice to love when persecuted.

Paul’s story is proof that someone that deserved death and condemnation was instead given forgiveness and life. Paul is an example that God can and wants to use us all no matter what our past or present shows.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. – Romans 8:1-2

Paul walked out God’s commands not as a burden but as a joy of being chosen and given new life in Christ. God doesn’t want us to follow His ways out of duty but out of love and adoration.

My hope is that you see God as a God of love who just wants to give you life and freedom! I pray you surrender daily to know God personally and trust Him always even when life doesn’t make sense.

Let the scales fall from your eyes and lift your eyes upward and allow the light to envelope your entire being. I do not promise an easy road but I do promise an exciting one! Nothing is worse than walking this life alone and defeated. We may hate challenges and the unexpected but imagine how boring of a life we would live if we knew exactly, down to each second, what to expect daily! Let God give you knew meaning to life and the capability to defeat not be defeated. Amen?

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life. -Deuteronomy 30:19 

In love,

Jessica

Know Your Boundaries

This is to the young girls, boys, women and men out there.

For those who don’t know my story thus far, I will give a quick summary so you can get to know me and the things I have faced and chosen in life.

In my 7th grade year, I met a boy. The perfect, most cutest boy ever in my eyes. The instant I met him, I was head over heels “in love”! Others ladies will relate that we fall in love pretty easy, especially when young. I new that this boy would be my husband one day. By the grace of God, he is now my husband and all mine after much struggle, heartache, and tears. Our dating life throughout high school was extremely unhealthy and a long story so we will just say that we dated on and off till about 11th grade. We began being sexually active at the age of 15 and I got pregnant at the age of 16. To say the least, that did not go over to well with the folks because I was raised in a Godly home and was taught right. We got married a month after our Cameron was born and have been on the fast track (as we like to call it) since then. We are now very happily married for 3 years, on fire for God, go to an amazing church called Church of the Highlands, have 2 boys and one on the way. We are in the process of buying our first house and my husband TJ is very successful at Verizon Wireless. All of this at the ages of 20 and 21. We are where we are because of God’s grace, forgiveness, and love. Our life would be drastically different without God and us being exposed to some different information early in our marriage.

Lately, the temptations that come our way when single or dating have really been laid on my heart. I have been asked a few times recently what my feelings and thoughts were during those times when I was making those decisions that I knew were wrong but ignored. I have asked myself the same question, wondering why I fell into those traps the enemy sets for us when single or dating. The simplest way to answer the question of “Why?’ is that I thought I was in love, I exposed myself to other sources outside of Gods Word, I was far from God, and I let my emotions take over rather than letting God take over. I have thought at times how different my life would be had I done things God’s way rather than Jessica’s way. I don’t by any means regret having my kids because children are a blessing, I only regret the decisions made that brought them into this world. I was always that little girl growing up that at first said I never wanted to leave home, then dreamed of leaving and having a family but always said I would save myself for marriage and I didn’t understand why people would have sex before marriage.

I know now that the temptations of this world are very strong and if we don’t have something stronger keeping us on the straight and narrow path, we will stray from what we know is right and find anything we can to justify it. A lot of people ask me if I chose to have sex because it assured me that he would stay with me or really loved me and I don’t remember ever thinking that. I can only say that I was far from truth and any truth I heard, I would try to ignore because I felt is was too late to turn back. They were all lies. It is never too late to turn back to God and change how you live.

if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. – 2 Chronicles 7:14

I am not going to say it will be easy because changing course is never easy or effortless but with God it is possible. I know many will say that I can talk about this now because I am married and don’t face that temptation anymore. Believe me when I say that I may not face that temptation but many others are thrown at me now because premarital sex isn’t something the enemy can come at me with. I tell you single guys and gals my story no matter if you are 12 or 100, giving in isn’t worth it. Our pastor is doing a series on Relationships right now and one of the biggest points that has been on my mind is that if God isn’t #1 in our life and we don’t look to Him to fulfill our needs and wants first, then the temptations out there become that much stronger because we are looking for love in the wrong places. Hollywood has painted these pictures in our mind of what love, romance, and relationships look like and those pictures just aren’t realistic. Movies show that sleeping around is just fun and cool. Our society has excepted this lie and because we watch these movies it is destroying what God intended relationships to look and feel like. This is why girls are getting pregnant younger and younger, divorce rates are through the roof, and many other things that are beginning to be excepted and condoned in our culture that is destroying the wonder that is love!

I want all of single, dating, engaged, and even married to look to God first to be filled and satisfied with true love and devotion, let God be first in your life, and let Him show you what love, romance, and happiness can really be like. One thing Pastor Chris said today is that it isn’t fair to put your total happiness is the hands of another human when that was intended for God to fill and for your significant other to just feed what God has already stirred up. I promise you, there is no better feeling than God being your true love.

I can not possibly stress enough that EVERY decision you make affects everything and everyone! It affects you emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually but it also affects others in those areas as well. Whether you see it or not, others are watching you and you can be the light that shows them God’s way or the enemies way. Because of our decisions, we affected our families, our friends, acquaintances, and our children. When our children grow up, I so wish that I could tell them that Mommy and Daddy did things the way God desires and be the light they will be looking for in such a dark and conflicting world. So instead I praise God that I can tell them that what the enemy intended to destroy us, God turned around for good by bringing us back to truth so we could give them the best life and example by understanding what they will face and show them they are stronger than the enemies lies and can rise above whatever comes their way through the strength of God.

People who know us look at our life and think we have such a great life considering our age and situation. When I look at our life, I know and remember all the things we have had to overcome and change to get to where we are and don’t think much about it because I see everything, whereas others just see the outside stuff like our house, cars, success, etc. I know without a shadow of a doubt that it is all God. I want others to look at us and see a family that exemplifies Jesus in every way. I want people to know our true story. We aren’t where we are because we were dealt a lucky hand or things just happened to work out for us. We got here by a ton of hard work, struggle, difficulty, consistency, love, support, some victories but mainly by God’s grace and blessing.

I am not ashamed of where we are, but when some people hear I am about to have 3 kids, married, and only 20, some of the expressions are like the air just got knocked out of them and I am sure they have many thoughts about it. This was not the life I pictured for myself growing up at age 20. This was the life I dreamed to have by the time I was in my early thirties, but my decisions brought me here ahead of schedule and that’s okay because God has taught me a lot and I know he intends to use my experiences to encourage others that God’s way is best, even if we don’t see it in those moments.

To you ladies out there, all I can say is to not let your emotions get the best of you. Keep God first and be patient to see who He brings into your life to be your other half.  Don’t let the enemy whisper those lies in your ear, keep your mind free from the media out there that tells you what love should look like and look to God for the original portrait. Look at yourself and understand that you are special, unique, beautiful, and worth waiting for till you look your husband in the eye and say “I do”. If you have already messed up, then decide today to make God your true love, find a verse or verses to speak over yourself every day reassuring you that you are an overcomer and the old you is in the past and you are starting fresh with a new canvas giving God the paint brush.  Purity is the most special thing we possess and the greatest gift in our power to give to the one we devote the rest of our life to. Guard it like you guard your life. You will set yourself apart to know what man is worth your time by how he respects that gift. The ones who don’t, let them go.

To you men, I know that God has given you a different mindset. You don’t operate off emotions but things you see. I encourage you to keep God number one and to let Him be the one who fills you till he brings that special woman created for you into your life. The enemy knows your weaknesses best and will be like a roaring lion waiting to pounce on the opportunity to use your desires to lead you to fall. Respect yourself enough to limit your open opportunities to fall and keep accountability with someone you can be totally open and honest to keep you pure and safe from those moments. Understand that us women aren’t wired the same and we do truly run on emotions and how people make us feel. Show us love and respect, kindness, and devotion, dedication and honesty.  When dating, look at that woman in the way that she will be someones wife one day, whether yours or some other man. Think about who you would want to marry and how great it would feel to know that you are the one and only and respect her enough that whoever she marries, she will be able to tell him he is her one and only.

The reason I entitled this “Know Your Boundaries” is because it is crucial to know and respect your weaknesses and strengths. We have been given a sense called conviction when we begin to get near a bad situation or decision, some ignore it and some recognize it and back away because they respect the consequences that come with it. What my mom tells me is to “play that tape all the way through.” Look down the road and look at worse case and best case scenarios and of course always keep what God’s word says in front of you.

So play your tapes out! Know the right choice is always best! Know your boundaries and keep them. Honor yourself, God and others. Let God be the painter and you be the canvas. The end result is always more beautiful!

As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. – Psalm 18:30