It has been quite awhile since I have written….the reason…
Now women will understand what that means and men will think, “What is the big deal about that?? So you carry a baby for nine months??”
These last 4 months have been the most painful, sick, miserable months I can remember! And the most lazy…
I know some of you may think pregnancy is the most magical, fun, wonderful thing…I am not one who would agree. I know, I know…how terrible am I to think that with such a blessing growing inside. I am one of those women who love babies and the joy they bring but if I could have them and skip pregnancy…MY HAND WOULD BE THE FIRST RAISED! Some may be reading this, whether currently pregnant or have been pregnant in the past, thinking amen!!
If you would have asked me after my first child….pregnancy was the best!! I never had any heartburn, cramps, sickness, swelling, being uncomfortable, and who knows what else. Besides my big belly (which wasn’t even that big), I didn’t feel pregnant. It was great!
But with each pregnancy after, it has gotten worse and worse!
During those months of misery, as I am sure anyone can relate to when feeling sick due to pregnancy or not, you feel as though it will never end and you can’t remember what it felt like to be healthy or when was the last time you felt good. That’s what is scary…sometimes I would be dreaming about being healthy again and think to myself, “Will I ever feel good again and if so will I even recognize what that feeling is?”
So goofy! Totally thinking without logic and reason…but when your body is undergoing that kind of change, logic and reason are out the window most of the time.
And you have to love those times when others try to encourage you through it and sometimes you just want to scream and yell because we think that there is no one else out there who could possibly understand but yet the encouraging words still feel nice even when you feel like its a bunch of bologna.
Because I am currently pregnant and facing the challenges and blessings with it, I feel I have permission to talk about this, and to hopefully help fellow pregnant Mommies to know, you are not alone, it WILL pass, the baby inside is a blessing and isn’t intentionally squeezing your bladder like a toy (I mean imagine living in a bubble for 9 months, they have to find something to entertain them right?). When people try to love on you and make you feel better, let them! Especially your husband because he is TOTALLY at a loss to what you are going through and probably living on the edge hoping he doesn’t say or do something wrong and get his head bit off. And let’s face it, men need love which is what we can give, and no matter how much we want to hit them for doing this to us(because in our heads, it’s totally their fault), love on them instead. 🙂
For TJ, he did most of the housework and childcare for our other 2 children when he wasn’t at work because I couldn’t stand up and be active for more than a couple minutes at a time. My house has never been dirtier!! That probably scared TJ most because I abandoned all my beliefs for order and cleanliness that I drilled in his head for the past 3 years. I am also believing and trusting that he won’t have arthritis in his hands for the countless massages he gave and continues to give to keep me comfortable when I wasn’t.
Our men don’t like seeing us in pain and they want to be there in anyway they can, to love on us and be apart of the experience, let them! It will make it more enjoyable and bearable for everyone and make sure to be thankful when they do something for you!
Now to the men, as a woman, I know our role is to bring the babies into the world and yours is to bring the money in so we can bring the babies. Let me say ya’ll do a great job fulfilling your roles! Women know ya’ll will never know what pregnancy is like, so when we try to explain what we are feeling, I have 3 tasks for you: Listen, Act like you Understand, and Find out what your wife loves most and try to meet that desire as often as you can and she enjoys it. Your wife will be stronger with the support! All women want is that although you will never understand us, you TRY!
For those who REALLY want to try and understand partly what we go through, you can try an idea of mine. 😉 Get a decent sized watermelon, cut it in half, tape it to your body, and then try to sleep in the positions you love most, care for kids, try to hold them, try to get up from the couch, and just ask your wife what else. After doing that for a few days, try to imagine nine months and how great it feels when you remove the watermelon.
That would brighten our faces and give us some good laughs to see you attempt this task either way! HAHA
Women of the world, you are fulfilling the task God gave you to continue populating the Earth, each with special gifts to change lives for His kingdom and fulfilling our joy to be mothers. Motherhood is the closest thing God gave us to show His true, unconditional love for all of His children no matter what they do. That is truly a great gift to understand in a small way how God feels about us.
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God–you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration–what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day. -Psalm 139:13
God created you in this way and is doing the same with every little one you bring into this world with a specific purpose. God chose you to be a mother and to give birth to a child he will use to fulfill something great as He did with Mary. If nothing else, focus on that in those times of pain or frustration.
Staying empowered together,